How to Tell Your Husband You Want to Try Something New
How to Tell Your Husband You Want to Try Something New (Without Hurting His Feelings)
There’s a running joke in sitcoms and society in general: married people don’t have sex. Despite all the men on TV who roll their eyes and complaint that nothing’s moved in their bed in two years, studies have shown that married people actually have the most sex of any relationship type.
When two people know each other well and spend every day together, there’s no reason to think that they wouldn’t be having hot sex. In the context of marriage it can be tricky for a wife to approach her husband about spicing things up in the bedroom.
If you need more kick than you’ve been getting, here’s how to get your husband on board without having to tell him he’s gotten bland in bed.
Make It about Your Fantasies
When you start the conversation, don’t talk about the sex that you’ve been having. You don’t want it to sound like you haven’t been having a good time. Instead, focus on things that you’ve wanted to do in bed but haven’t yet.
Talk about your fantasies. Don’t criticize your current sex life; make it all about what your sex life could be.
Think of Scenarios That Will Please Him
Don’t forget to sweeten the pot for him. Is there something that he used to love in bed, but you haven’t felt like doing in a while? Consider treating him to that lap dance, blow job, or summer special. Does he like it when you clean the house naked?
A little bribery never hurt anyone, and what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If you’ve been feeling a little hum-drum about your horizontal mumbo the last few weeks, months, or years, the odds are good that he’s felt the same way.
At the very least, feeling bored doesn’t encourage you to go the extra mile for him. Show him that this is going to be a mutual experience.
Don’t Jump Right to a Dildo
If the very first thing that you bring up is a dildo, you’re going to scare him off. You want to make it clear that there’s nothing wrong with the sex that you’ve been having, and there’s definitely nothing wrong with his equipment.
If you need extra stimulation, consider investing in a bullet vibrator. This little sex toys are nonthreatening, small, and powerful. You could even use it on your clitoris while he’s penetrating you; he still gets what he likes and you get something that takes you over the moon.
The trick to bringing sex toys into the bedroom without upsetting your husband is just to keep the conversation light and make it worth it for him. You’re not saying that he’s not a man—just that there’s a whole sexual world out there and you want to explore it with him, together.
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- Why Buying a Sex Toy Makes a Man a Better Lover